Is Big Ben actually big?

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Machu Picchu, Chichén Itzá, the Roman Colosseum, Christ the Redeemer, The Great Wall of China, the Taj Mahal, the City of Petra, Big Ben. The eighth wonder of the world, many question if Ben is actually big? The answer: No. 

Standing 316 feet (96 meters) tall, Big Ben isn’t even near the top 50 tallest buildings on Earth. In fact, Big Ben isn’t even in the top 150 tallest buildings in the U.K. So why is it called Big Ben? “Maybe it was big when it was built,” you may think. Perhaps they plan to make it bigger? Both wrong. In this investigative article, I will reveal the great conspiracy and propaganda machine behind Britain’s biggest LIE.

January 5th, 1850, Albert Poppycock, Oxford graduate and architect, was hired by the British government to design an incredibly large clock. Poppycock, unaware of the size of other buildings, believed that 96 meters was tall. “I’ve only ever talked to people in England and they said 96 meters is quite large. It certainly works for the people of London,” said Poppycock in a letter he sent to the Queen. 

In recent years, however, national standards have changed, and the days of “Big” Ben are over. English officials are working on a name change to Big Enough Ben. Also in the English parliament, a bill to imprison citizens that have not brushed their teeth in at least a month. Widespread arrests to come.