If I’m Being Honest

Artwork by Esmeralda Lopez.

I was born on March 7

I hear that makes me a pisces

I have no idea what that actually means  

I don’t know how to cook

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And I’m a sucker for a big city with bright sparkly lights and  massive crowds.  

I’m still learning how to balance my school life and social life.  

  1. If I focus too much on my school life I feel my friends begin to pull away
  2. If I focus too much on my social life I feel my grades falling at the seems 

I was born when expected and I’ve been on time ever since.  

I like diet coke…. a lot.  

I’ve been told I’m really bad at maintaining eye contact

People say I seem disinterested in the conversation

But really, I’m just shy and frankly too shy for people to know that

Secretly I get really nervous every time…  

I run into someone I know while in public

I have an odd fascination with fashion and taking pictures

I assume I like them because it allows me to express myself in ways my personality won’t allow  

I guess that’s why I struggle to accomplish tasks independently

You see my personality reminds me that I’m not afraid of failure or disappointment 

But I’m scared to death of everything that’s going to happen the very moment that I have to worry about the next step in my life once i’ve hit rock bottom 

I’m chaotic 

Yesterday I tripped over my confidence, landed on my self worth, and it shattered like an antique vase from the 1800s.  

I’ve never been a vegetarian but I have this feeling that I need to sympathize with other living creatures.  

I know this sounds weird but I wonder what my bedroom would say about me when I’m not around.  

I wonder what my car thinks as I put more clutter into the backseat

I have a backpack full of papers that contain the stresses of everyday life.

Hi, my name is Sofia.  

I enjoy listening to music, eating healthy, and watching movies in the comfort of my own home, But I don’t allow myself to indulge in the happy moments of life as often as I should.  

I have solar power social energy.  

And a battery operated laugh.  

My hobbies include:  

Editing my reality  

Hiding behind false information i’ve convinced my brain to believe true

And trying to convince everyone else that I’m someone worth watching.

You see I don’t know much, but I do know this:  

I know that everyone has struggles in life, big or small

But God has a plan for everyone, 

There is a saying i’ve been told all my life

“you plan, God laughs”

And I know that what happens here on Earth means nothing in the long run for what the future awaits.

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