During an unprecedented joint press conference April 1, 2024, President Joe Biden and Former President Donald Trump announced that they will both be dropping out of the 2024 election in support for Kanye West, or “Ye,” being the favored candidate.
“We’ve found common ground…with our shared love for Ye’s music,” Biden said after blankly staring at a wall for two minutes straight, “and he likes Graeter’s chocolate chip ice cream.”
Despite there being no factual evidence that Ye has ever eaten Graeter’s chocolate chip ice cream, Biden has shown unwavering support for Ye since the press conference. Trump has shown similar support, with defensive comments in support of the new candidate.
“You know they, they uh…tell you that Ye, really, truly a great guy, that Ye already campaigned independently and lost—but what they don’t tell you, what they don’t tell you is that he’s a political mastermind, but his uh…jealous haters only see him for his X account, and to that I say that past online posts should be overlooked and to not support him is disgraceful, just disgraceful,” Trump said in the longest run-on sentence The Smoke Signal has ever had to report on.
Attempts to reach Ye have been unsuccessful. It’s unclear if Ye actually is running or if Trump and Biden jointly dropped out in hopes that the rapper would join the campaign.
“Um uh…he—um uhh…” Biden said when asked about Ye’s history of voicing his controversial opinions on the internet, “but he made Graduation.”
“All of Ye’s social media accounts should also be unbanned,” Trump told reporters, proceeding to defensively deny any personal motivation behind this comment.
Despite the status that Trump and Biden hold, their endorsement for Ye might actually be more of a hindrance than an advantage. After the press conference, Biden was spotted wandering straight into a nursing home, while Trump was seen being dragged into a courtroom to once again stand trial for another one of his 88 accused felonies.
With this sudden announcement, Americans across the country are wondering if anyone will rise to oppose Ye in his newfound political success. A few very vocal citizens are calling for billionaire singer Taylor Swift to run against him, in what many fans are calling a “rematch” after Ye interrupted Swift’s speech at the 2009 VMAs. Others wonder if Ye will even accept the offer of running for president. For many Americans, however, it might be time to look into other presidential candidates to vote for.
