After extensive research and testing, today Frito-Lay and the Redbull Company announced a new flavor: Hot Cheeto Redbull. The move signals the two companies’ joint attempt at cornering off the middle school market. The new drink promises to deliver enough radioactive sludge to help students get through “even the toughest of P.E. Classes”. It is unclear if any of their competitors will make a counter  product at this time. A competitor may be unfruitful to others because of such a positive reception from middle schoolers around the country. 

“I really love this new drink dude, it lets me maintain my annoying demeanor throughout the day. Plus the only two foods I eat in one drink can’t be better,” said one middle school student. 

However, our already underpaid teachers are far from thrilled with the new product calling it “a new annoyance to already annoying careers.” Radiologists around the world have also questioned the safety of the drink claiming three cans of the new concoction could be enough to create a second elephant’s foot but, there are growing hopes that these drinks could be used as a cheap alternative to nuclear fuel. One can of the drink costs around  $3.50, which means that Chernobyl could for as little as $20 a day on this revolutionary, new stomach sludge. We could see a world entirely powered by caffeine crazed, cheeto addicted munchkins. That is, if the drink is received well from the market. But middle schoolers nationwide are holding out hope for a spicy tomorrow.