The Kardashians Move to SCV

Ava Smith, Social Media Manager

The Kardashian family was seen by TMZ this past weekend moving into an apartment complex in Downtown Newhall! The decision was made after Kris Jenner, mother of the Kadashians, visited our local Walmart. 

“Santa Clarita is just such a cute little town! I love the scenery and the people!” said Kris Jenner in an interview yesterday. 

“The thing that really sold me on moving here was the Walmart. It was such a pretty store, very organized. It was a bit pricey though…” Jenner said. 

Her children are not as excited about the decision, saying that she made them all move here. 

“Mom is being extra annoying lately, she insisted that we all move here and live in the same apartment. I don’t know how she got all of us to fit in there! Plus, this is not downtown! She told me we were moving to a newly built, budding downtown area. I don’t want to live in the suburbs!” said Kourtney and Kendall to TMZ. 

They also added how Kylie Jenner’s new baby, Wolf, is not adjusting well to his new home. 

“Wolf needs… something more luxurious than Downtown Newhall. He needs a personal mansion in Calabasas waiting for him once he turns eighteen to be happy. An apartment is just too cramped for a baby!” Kendall said. 

Despite all this, Kris insists that the move is perfect, and that she has “never been happier,” saying that Santa Clarita is all she has ever wanted. 

“I really think the girls will grow to love it as much as I do. This is the best decision for our family, and I could not be more in love with Santa Clarita and our… homey apartment! Plus, Santa Clarita is far safer than Calabasas!” said Kris Jenner. 

However, this move may not be as wholesome as it seems. Paparazzi caught Kanye West in disguise last night in Santa Clarita, hiding behind a pair of bushes in Downtown Newhall, near the Kardashian’s new apartment. Once paparazzi saw him, he was reported fleeing the scene. 

Just two days later, Kanye was seen again, but this time documenting what he was doing on Instagram Live.

“I’m here for Skete! I know he’s in there!” said West, repeatedly screaming for Pete Davidson to leave the apartment complex. 

After some time, Pete Davidson left the apartment complex to confront Kanye West. Majority of what was said was unintelligible to others at the scene and on the Live, but the confrontation was clearly about Kim Kardashian, who was recently declared single by court of law and is now dating Pete Davidson. While the majority of the conversation was incomprehensible, bystanders were able to hear an insult Kanye directed towards Pete. 

“Skete, you look like Gollum and Abby Mallard’s baby!” Kanye said. 

Kanye also begged Kim to “take him back,” and said that it wasn’t too late to change things and “save their family,” Kanye said. 

When Davidson started to respond to Kanye’s insults, saying “She isn’t going to take you back, man!” and “At least I take my meds!” Kanye let out something similar to a war cry, and tackled Davidson. 

The two started slapping and scratching each other, and some debated whether or not they should call the police because the scene was so underwhelming. After a half an hour of this, the scene started to evolve into a fist fight, with spectators calling it a brawl. Police were called after this, and the Sheriff had to break up the fight, which both West and Davidson resisted. Eventually, the two were arrested and taken to the sheriff’s station. The two were reported to have several injuries. Kanye had a few broken ribs, a broken nose and is believed to have a “very severe concussion.” The doctors judged this because Kanye had completely forgotten about his fight with Skete and who Skete was. When West saw Davidson in the hospital, he even tried to be friends with him. 

Davidson also had a list of injuries, including a broken finger, a broken nose and, somehow, Kanye pulled out the little hair Davidson had on his head, leaving him with a hideous, patchy hairstyle that looks similar to a buzzcut. Both West and Davidson have hired attorneys to defend them in an upcoming trial, which has not yet taken place. This case is ongoing, with no current updates. Stay tuned!