Scientists find a way to turn Karen into a decent human being

Man Ager, Karen's Worst Nightmare

After the mass production of Karens escaped, they’ve begun destroying any poor souls’ confidence.  The Karens on the loose range from just a bit of threats like calling the police for selling lemonade on a hot summer day to screaming and yelling to claiming you hurt them when all you did was turn around to avoid problems. Luckily scientists, after years of work, have found a solution. 

First, scientists have found that any Karen who develops the ability to listen to what someone is saying, instead of what they want to hear, gains the accessibility to use a human trait called “understanding.” What this trait does is allow someone to look at something from a different perspective and see what they may have done wrong or misinterpreted. So far, scientists have seen that 100% of Karens who tried learning this trait have become a better person within minutes.

Scientists have also conducted the testing on what makes Karens explode in anger. The top four results were skateboarders who are usually in their adolescent phase, Walmart employees who do not comply with their demands of accepting expired coupons, managers who don’t serve people without masks and police officers who don’t take their sides immediately. Scientists are also seeing that Karen’s anger is increasing towards a chicken nugget named Lamar that seems to be smarter than the average Karen. For more information about this nugget hero, read “Is a chicken nugget worth more than a person?” on The Smoke Signals website.

Scientists are always hard at work trying to find cures for these Karens to see if there’s a better and faster way to cure Karens around the world. Scientists say that the best thing to do if you spot a Karen is to walk away before they spot you. But, if it is too late, and you already are in contact with a Karen, you should record at all times and try to walk away from the issue while staying calm and respectful. Make sure to always point the camera away from their face. The Karen may call the police and claim you threatened them. This is where you can show the authorities the video of what actually happened, which gives you the win in the argument and you will be able to leave in peace. 

There will most likely always be Karens, but scientists are finding ways to make Karens less dangerous for the world and to keep our generation safe!

APRIL FOOL’S! This is one of our joke articles for our April Fool’s issue: The Distress Signal. Thanks for reading and happy joking!